History Of Drums

My Grandfather once told me that if it wasnt for him drums wouldnt exist.. I cant possibly believe its true but looking at his facial expression that time i just couldnt resist his true innocent face... Yeah that was him with my girlfriend...he said he was trying to save her from drowning..

anyway...he created the drums back in 1902 when he was literally young and not so horny yet... It first started when his mom try to get him out from the tummy by herself since his dad died after cumming...without any help, his mother used her own hands and stuffed one of her own hand in the vagina to get granddad's head..after a few days the mother felt his head and began to pull as hard as she can...she was screaming as loud as fuck until i can hear it even after it happened few decades ago....she died after that since the thing she pulled wasnt my grandfather's head but it was actually her intestine..dumb bitch...anyway my grandfather got out by himself through the stomach by using scissors he invented while in the tummy by using his dad's cum and some aluminium cans which i dont know how the hell cans entered the stomach....Its Him :) *taken from flickr*

After living by himself for a few years.....( i dont know how he raised himself, he just dont wanna tell me ) He got bored and crafted some of his mom's bones into drumsticks..

Few years later, he dont know what to do with the sticks and began starting to invent things to hit it with the sticks..first he used him mom's belly and stuffed the stomach with hydrocholic enyzmizine hydrogen and began hitting it...it sounded so good that my grandfather loved it and hunted another human to make double stomach ....he began calling the stomach bass since it sounded deep...

    After performing on some concerts that had a lot of crowds including three dogs , four nashmuddeyns ( extinct after grandfather's horrible music ) and dozens of humans..many fans requested him to add some more instruments that has different sounds that could possible relate to the double bass...

     He began looking for some more stomaches that could produce a higher sound....he tried the cow stomach but it sounded like a cowbell...he tried the snake's stomach but it sounded like a rattle snake.. ( -.-' ) he tried najmuddin's stomach but it sounded too loud that all the food in africa were gone....finally he used the cat's tummy and it sounded like a snare..with some wires attached in the asshole...

    Not satisfied...he said "should you masturbate till death, thou shall you produce more peace" i didnt really get it but it sounded inspiring to me...he killed 3 of his fans which are the dogs and used their stomach to ....you know...and began calling them tom toms...the floor tom actually was taken by naj's tummy  but since it was too big he took only 0.034% of it..

     Still not satisfied...he began to kill his pride and actually modified his body so he might get some DNA to be Specified...While the subject was not possible, he retardedly fucked his bubble and stretched some purple,from his table,and tend to mumble,while he scratch his back for some label..for his pebble.

     And thats how he created the crash,ride,cymbals, and hi hats...He actually invented china after hearing some chinese people giving speech about copying while the speech was actually copied from the first president that asked them to copy. While they copy, I drink some "kopi" to release my poopy. After many performance with the Black Sabbath , AC/DC and some other bands that died because of him,he became popular and his instrument was copied by the chinese and named it Chung-Kai. 

    My grandfather began creating drums after that incident and also became the first legendary drummer, or chung-kai..er...and made the best drum solo in 1967, or to chinese chung-kai solo... in ni hao kua mai.. he was one of the best musician and one of the most creative for inventing a drum kit...Now drum kits are made by wood and not stomach to avoid extinction.

im watching porn while doing this so dont bother it its rubbish... 

      

    

Dreams

      Everyone has a dream...some wants to be a scientist...some wants to be a doctor...some weird ass people wants to be an assasin ( yeah you ) people have dreams because they dont want to end up being like Mr. Hydsyth( a man that doesnt want to dream and ends up writing blogs for his whole life ) 

       My dream is to be a scientist that makes medicine...whatever u call it...i dont actually have to dream about it....i know i will be...because im gifted in making medicines....when i was 5 years old....i accidentally mix some spices and liquid that i found in the jungle....i was naughty *was?* so i put the mixture in my grandfather's coffee.....the next day he was able to stand up for the first time in his life..yes, his legs were paralyzed since he was born, because he kicked the doctors face and he accidentally pushed himself back in his moms vagina causing his legs to twist like a ribbon. 

        He was so happy that he talks about his legs all the time and went to the hospital and show the amputated people how joyful itis to have legs...he ran around...he scratched his legs for no reason..he juggles ball with his feet...and even wall kicking...why am i talking about my grandfather now?

          The sad part is....he died after 2 days .....the doctor said that someone gave him a toxic poisonous malfunction cryptic liquidized caractive substance that made his lungs sticky and his stomach explode and his muscles melted and his blood became solid...i blamed my medicine...after 3 years...I improved the medicine and gave it to someone retarded to test it....it pretty much failed....it made the retarded guy much more blind and more hairy...and more retarded..i nearly gave up...luckily, i saw my grandfather's soul...floating before me...it felt so awkward...because i was litteraly infront of my computer watching **** and jacks the hell out of my **** ...

 

          He said that if I give up....he will hunt me everytime i jack off....i cried and beg him not to do that..he said he will support me in all means...afterall, i made him go to heaven...lucky old bastard...anyway he made me became courageous,strong, healthy, adventerous, optimistic , cool , horny and etc. 

          It took me about 7 years to fully research it and made it perfect...i tested it once again....but since im courageous and not self-centered...i drinked the medicine myself...but before that...i hit both of my knees with a hammer till i cant move my legs...it took 3 months to cure em...the sacrifice was so stupid...but worth it....it didnt make any bad side-effects...except for my knees that are 4 inches long...

          that was actually my first reason why i wanted to be a scientist..but since it was so damn long and took most of my time...id rather just shut the fuck up...i love u grandfather.. R.I.P